it’s one of them days where I feel like I have no bloody clue what I’m doing / what I want / how to feel
I am more than: my relationship status. My job. My age. My sexuality. My degree or lack of. My last name. My appearance. My gender. My sex. My short comings.
I am: rusted thoughts. A bloody tongue. Every city I have breathed in. Every bedroom I have loved in. Piles of words. Twisted metaphors. My thoughts. My actions. My dreams.
And I am not looking to be loved. I am looking to be seen.
— I Am Not | Lora Mathis (via fawun)
I never understood why people always want to take things slow. It made no sense to me. If that person is going to leave eventually, why not rip them off like a bandaid? Instead you let them inject cancer into your heart. I’ve heard that the heart is the one place you can’t get cancer; but everyone seems to forget about love, how it builds up colonies inside you and tears down each ventricle one by one. It’s a pain that stays and reverberates, a pain that is ruthless. It seeps through your veins, cutting out your weakest parts first. Then it weakens what used to be your strongest parts. It oozes through the arteries and drains back into the heart. And drains. And drains. And drains. It’s a vicious cycle, perhaps eternal. That is why I choose to leave quickly. I choose to be wild and free because no one has ever loved me the way i need to be loved so desperately.
— Invasive Malignancy (via fawun)
The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person—without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.
i bet people dont understand that im joking 800% of the time
For a long time it seemed to me that real life was about to begin, but there was always some obstacle in the way. Something had to be got through first, some unfinished business; time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.
— Bette Howland (via fawun)